funny quotes (page 9)

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Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Bobby to criminal: Stop!! Or I'll say 'stop' again!!
Bob's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!
Fortune finishes the great quotations, #6 "But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?" It's nothing, honey. Go back to sleep.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
Dentist drill by Black & Decker, 3/8" bit
If spelling tests tell you how well you spell, then what do urine tests tell you?
I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce. - J. Edgar Hoover
The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon.
Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
Someone's boring me. I think it's me.
The longest journey begins with a single online booking...
No, I don't trust in god. He'll have to pay up front, like everybody else.
My husband once worked for a company that had a merit pay system. After six months they told him that he owed the company money.
If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.
If you look good and dress well, you don't need a purpose in life. -- Robert Pante, fashion consultant
My folks first met on the subway trying to pick each others pockets.
Maintaining an entire mouthful of 32 healthy teeth can be a daunting task. Instead, just focus on 10 or 12 of your favorites.
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top quotes
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of
  1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
  5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.


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