Funny headlines Part 1

 

funny headlines


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1.
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
2.
Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
3.
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
4.
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
5.
Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
6.
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
7.
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
8.
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9.
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
10.
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
11.
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
12.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
13.
Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
14.
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15.
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16.
Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
17.
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
18.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
20.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
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top quotes
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com.
  1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
  5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
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