Dog commandments

 

dog commandments


 
1.
Thou shalt not sniff the crotch of everyone thy encountereth.
2.
Thou shalt not sneak up on me and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.
3.
Thou shalt not pass gas in my presence and then walk away as if thou hast been offended by me!
4.
Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watchest me eat.
5.
Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 3 a.m.
6.
Thou shalt not WATCHEST the cat while she is in her litterbox. (she liketh her privacy)
7.
Thou shalt not lie down next to me and commence making licking and popping noises.
8.
Thou shalt not roll in any smelly stuff thy findeth in the yard.
9.
Thou shalt not run away in pursuit of a good time. (thou hast been neutered)
10.
Thou shalt refrain with becoming overly friendly with my mother-in-law's leg.
11.
Thou shalt refrain from coughing and gagging while we have company.
12.
Thou shalt not hide thy bones under my pillow.
13.
Thou shalt not drink out of the toilet.
14.
Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree.
15.
Thou shalt not dig up my favorite rose bush.
16.
Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the cat's litter box.
17.
Thou shalt not treat my shoes as if they were thy chew toy.
 
top quotes
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com.
  1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
  5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
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