Funny definitions Part 3

 

funny definitions (page 3)


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41.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
42.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
43.
Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
44.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
45.
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
46.
Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
47.
Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
48.
Negligent, adj.. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
49.
Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
50.
Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
51.
Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
52.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
53.
Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
54.
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
55.
Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
56.
Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
57.
Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
58.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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top quotes
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com.
  1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
  5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
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