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41.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken
place.
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42.
|
If you're gonna go, go obnoxiously.
|
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43.
|
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.
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44.
|
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
|
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45.
|
An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the president but is always polite to
traffic cops.
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46.
|
If I love you, what business is it of yours? -- Johann van Goethe
|
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47.
|
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
|
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48.
|
It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.
|
|
49.
|
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will
worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
|
|
50.
|
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
|
|
51.
|
I am erotic. You are kinky. They are perverts. We protect. Our allies enforce. Our enemies
oppress. Congress appropriates. Microsoft lobbies. Citizens steal.
|
|
52.
|
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
|
|
53.
|
Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult.
|
|
54.
|
The old believe everything, the middle- aged suspect everything, the young know everything
|
|
55.
|
Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence,
goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
|
|
56.
|
To appreciate heaven well, it's good for a person to have some fifteen minutes of hell
|
|
57.
|
Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed
|
|
58.
|
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
|
|
59.
|
Calling an engineer an applied scientist is like calling an artistic painter an applied pigment
chemist.
|
|
60.
|
Mark's Dental-Chair Discovery: Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple
yes or no answer.
|
|
|
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