funny signs (page 2)

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Notice In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists.
Notice In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm
In a Texas funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.
In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
Notice In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
Notice In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
Notice In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
Sign At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.
In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
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top quotes
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of
  1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
  5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.


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