1. |
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? |
2. |
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. |
3. |
If you cannot convince them, confuse them. |
4. |
Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart, he dreams himself your master. |
5. |
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. |
6. |
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein |
7. |
If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile. |
8. |
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. |
9. |
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" |
10. |
You never truely understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother. --Albert Einstein |
11. |
Beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two. |
12. |
The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward. |
13. |
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. |
14. |
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue. |
15. |
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. |
16. |
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. |
17. |
People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do. |
18. |
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing. |
19. |
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. |
20. |
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |