rules for ensemble playing


 
1.
A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation.
2.
When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on the way home.
3.
If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.
4.
Everyone should play the same piece.
5.
Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.
6.
Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
7.
Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!
8.
If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
9.
If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
10.
Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.
11.
Take your time turning pages.
12.
If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
13.
If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
14.
The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
15.
A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.
16.
Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.
17.
Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others.
 
top quotes
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com.
  1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
  5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
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