you know when you have grown up when
Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You watch the weather channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
You're the one calling the police because those #%$@! kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what time taco bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog science diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com.
- Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
- The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
- Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
- War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
- It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.