1. |
A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation. |
2. |
When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left. If you have notes left over, please play them on the way home.
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3. |
If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.
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4. |
Everyone should play the same piece.
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5. |
Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.
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6. |
Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
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7. |
Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!
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8. |
If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
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9. |
If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
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10. |
Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.
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11. |
Take your time turning pages.
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12. |
If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested.
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13. |
If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.
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14. |
The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
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15. |
A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.
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16. |
Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent.
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17. |
Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others.
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