1. |
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
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2. |
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
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3. |
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
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4. |
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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5. |
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
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6. |
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
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7. |
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
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8. |
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
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9. |
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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10. |
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
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11. |
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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12. |
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
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13. |
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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14. |
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
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15. |
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
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16. |
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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17. |
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
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18. |
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
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19. |
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
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20. |
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
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