61. |
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush |
62. |
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein |
63. |
Answering Machine Saying: "911 - What is your emergency?" |
64. |
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow. |
65. |
You never learn anything by doing it right. |
66. |
Actual Housing Complaint: And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
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67. |
A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad. |
68. |
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other. |
69. |
What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way? |
70. |
Welcome to Curl Up 'N Dye Hair Salon! |
71. |
Actual Headline: Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax |
72. |
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. |
73. |
If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile. |
74. |
Why do our noses run and our feet smell? |
75. |
Answering Machine Saying: Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
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76. |
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. |
77. |
Politicians, like diapers, have to be changed frequently - and for the very same reason. |
78. |
Answering Machine Saying: Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
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79. |
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken! |
80. |
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"? |