541. |
My rules apply only to other people, not myself. |
542. |
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. |
543. |
How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost? |
544. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embellish the score.
|
545. |
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. |
546. |
Dog Commandments: Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watchest me eat.
|
547. |
Southern Medical Terminology: Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
|
548. |
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
|
549. |
Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it. |
550. |
Dog Commandments: Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 3 a.m.
|
551. |
Seen On a Church Bulletin: The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy." |
552. |
Men often believe -- or pretend -- that the "Law" is something sacred, or at least a science -- an unfounded assumption very convenient to governments. |
553. |
Suicide Booth: You are now dead! Thank you for using Stop and Drop, America's favorite since 2008. |
554. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: Take your time turning pages.
|
555. |
Southern Medical Terminology: Dilate - To live long.
|
556. |
Actual Headline: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
|
557. |
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! |
558. |
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you. |
559. |
Actual Headline: Farmer bill dies in house
|
560. |
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Pablo Picasso |