521. |
Actual Housing Complaint: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
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522. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
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523. |
Actual Housing Complaint: Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
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524. |
what does your robot do, sam? .. it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls |
525. |
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. |
526. |
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from many. |
527. |
"When I was young I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. I was right." - Gahan Wilson |
528. |
Tracers work both ways. |
529. |
Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps. |
530. |
Actual Headline: Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
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531. |
Earn cash in your spare time, blackmail your friends. |
532. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
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533. |
I never pirated it...it was donated. by the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow at night.. |
534. |
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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535. |
If I said you have a great body, would you hold it against me?
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536. |
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. |
537. |
Seen On a Church Bulletin: Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary. |
538. |
Give me ambiguity or give me something else. |
539. |
Seen On a Church Bulletin: The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. |
540. |
When people say "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed," What side is the right side?
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