501. |
There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to. |
502. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: Everyone should play the same piece.
|
503. |
Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other. |
504. |
One of the mysteries of human conduct is why adult men and women are ready to sign documents they do not read, at the behest of salesmen they do not know, binding them to pay for articles they do not want, with money which they do not have. |
505. |
I caught my daughter playing with the electrical outlet, and she gave herself quite a shock. I had to ground her. |
506. |
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. |
507. |
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. |
508. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.
|
509. |
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? |
510. |
Actual Headline: Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
|
511. |
Actual Housing Complaint: Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
|
512. |
Death has been proven to be 99% fatal in laboratory rats. |
513. |
Those who can, do. Those who can't, sue. |
514. |
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. |
515. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
|
516. |
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. |
517. |
Southern Medical Terminology: Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis.
|
518. |
Rule for Ensemble Playing: Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will love this a lot!
|
519. |
If ours is a man made world, why can't we remake it? |
520. |
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. |